


the snow made me think of you

by atel1er



Series: :RE [1]
Category: Tokyo Ghoul
Genre: Drabble, Gen
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-05-06
Updated: 2015-05-06
Packaged: 2018-03-29 06:17:39
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,544
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/3885550
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/atel1er/pseuds/atel1er
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>the times suzuya juuzou saw kaneki ken ( and the one time he didn't )<br/></p>
            </blockquote>





	the snow made me think of you

**Author's Note:**

> i just. really wanted to write a suzuneki/suzuhaise drabble. i imagined something more but this will do. i just. needed a break kinda. the hidekanes and hidehaise im writing is huRTING ME TOO MUCH ( i blame delightgurgle for getting me into this ship, please read their works theyre amazing,, holy shit :^) 
> 
> ps this is also canon with my :REunion fic, i plan on writing more with other characters with stuff that i dunno how to fit in the fic

__ **  
**  


_Let us always meet each other with smile, for the smile is the beginning of love._

  * _Mother Theresa_




__

They say that money is the root of all evil. He would have to disagree on that. The first time Suzuya Juuzou bumped ( quite literally, bumped ) into Kaneki Ken, he didn’t expect that he would form a begrudging one sided friendship over the next months, years, even.

The chilly air that autumn night was really getting to Suzuya, but he had other thoughts on his mind. He didn’t have any money, and the way he was dressed had ought to bring some suspicion. Luckily, there weren’t many people around at this time in the evening. Walking around with his white hair constantly covering his eyes, the cicadas were the only things he heard accompanying his usual lighthearted humming, his light footsteps made almost no sound and nothing except for the darkness of the sky was seen beyond his mop of hair. Until he came. Suzuya’s next poor, unsuspecting target. Albeit being a ghoul investigator that should be honouring regular citizen’s safety first, he still had to break a few rules now and then to get what he wanted, right? It’s not like it was a ghoul, so Suzuya shouldn’t have to harm him. The boy looked around his age, his scrawny body concealed by the heavy coat with many pockets revealing only his slender hands and legs. And his money.

“E-eeh?” the black haired boy exclaimed in surprise.

Suzuya had bumped into him intentionally, but he didn’t expect nor did he want his face to be flushed red at the feeling of this stranger’s shoulder on him. Oddly, it felt rather nice. But he had to go now, before he realized that his wallet was missing, pickpocketed by Suzuya.

“Sorry, gotta go!” he said as he left the man, picking up his pace to go to a place where he could check out the wallet’s contents, never looking back. A near alley would work for him just fine, even if it was covered in trash.

It was still warm, the wallet, but somehow, Suzuya could smell the slightest traces of blood. Must be the garbage and some animal died in the trash, he thought, brushing it off. The contents in the small leather wallet was mostly consisting of a library card, other cards, cards, student cards, why do teenagers sign up for all these cards nowadays? He couldn’t see; his bangs covering his face. Brushing it to the side with one hand, he examined the student ID card. “Kaneki Ken, age 19. That’s the same as me!” He chuckled, looking into those serious grey eyes. Of course, that wasn’t the reason why he had this stolen this ( to admire some stranger’s face? I think not ). Rummaging around even more, he found it. 3000 yen, not much. But it was all he needed.Maybe some day he could find this Kaneki Ken again and give him back the wallet, just 3000 yen lighter.

Suzuya hurried back, excited to finally buy the sweets he saw while walking down the streets.

**  
**  
  


_Every parting gives a foretaste of death, every reunion a hint of the resurrection._

  * _Arthur Schopenhauer_




__

It looked so painfully familiar, the scene laid out in front of him. Those piercing grey eyes were staring at him, but still not quite reaching his gaze. Because the look was for someone else to understand. He had changed from the last time that Suzuya had saw him- because he remembered him as an untainted person full of purity. This would have been the least expected place that he thought Kaneki Ken would end up at. Of course, the blood he smelled at the time was from his wallet. He didn’t want to believe it, but with the masked ghoul literally looking up at his face, Suzuya knew that this was Kaneki Ken, an ordinary college student who shouldn’t be here.

Why had he ended up this way? The mask, he didn’t need it. Someone like him shouldn’t be here partaking in such a hard battle, someone like him shouldn’t be taking part or getting involved with a force such as Aogiri Tree. Only someone that didn’t have a choice would have ended up this way. Those bruises, the discolouration on his feet and arms, that greasy pale hair as white as the moon only reminded Suzuya of himself back then. It was all the more painful to see it happen to someone else. It was useless, simply looking at him like this. Suzuya needed a distraction.

In the distance, the sound of ghouls crying out echoed throughout the building.

__

_When we honestly ask ourselves which person in our lives means the most to us, we often find that it is those who, instead of giving advice, solutions, or cures, have chosen rather to share our pain and touch our wounds with a warm and tender hand._

  * _Henri Nouwen_




__

He remembered.

All those waves of memories rained down on him, pelting him with things that were unnecessary, unneeded. Never had he cared for someone’s death, why should he start now?

“It’s just another person dying, isn’t it? People die all the time. It’s only a matter of time,” he had said all those years ago to the twins. The weight of his words - he only realized them now.

“If you died, I would be sad,” Shinohara had said to him.

But what if I wasn’t the one dying?

The Owl laughed at the struggle, simply amused by the futile attempts of the white haired boy trying to stab the creature. It’s all your fault, he thought.

And you know it.  

The way she flung his mentor’s body reminded him of the way that Takatsuki Sen twirled her pen around her fingers when she visited the CCG for an interview with Shinohara. Even behind the full kakuja mask, Suzuya knew that this woman was responsible for the deaths of too many people. The way that she wrote, the way that she found the ideas for the basis of her best selling, tragedy ridden novels - it was inspired by the people living them.

**  
**  
  


_Today I choose life. Every morning when I wake up I can choose joy, happiness, negativity, pain... To feel the freedom that comes from being able to continue to make mistakes and choices - today I choose to feel life, not to deny my humanity but embrace it._

  * _Kevyn Aucoin_




A leg, he could live without.

This empty feeling inside his chest, he could live with, continuing to push on.

But the lack of his mentor by his side - he just couldn’t do it.

* * *

Just when he had gotten used to it, he met _him_ again.

He had heard of him soon after the Aogiri Raid, realizing the vast amount of power he had. He was a ghoul, named Eyepatch. Then, during the 20th Ward wipeout, he saw him, even if it was only for a brief ~~[ case ]~~ amount of time. He was Centipede, a cannabalistic ghoul that fed on his own species. Back then, he had used it - his power -  for the wrong reason. But what is wrong? ( This world is wrong. ) What is defined as the correct way of life; should we all be conformed to these ideals? Why should Suzuya, some stranger to him, be the judge of his life?

He had heard that someone with immense power was coming to the CCG, but he wasn’t paying attention much during the meetings that had taken place. Now he realized that he should have. Kaneki’s hair was different, but it suited him, the mix of black and white much like both of the personas that Suzuya had met during the span of those particular months. Kaneki Ken, in all of his different personalities both had one thing in common- they were all his, they were all beautiful and breathtaking.

“Hanbee,” Suzuya said, turning to his right hand man. “Come here for a sec.”

The two walked over to the new investigator, looking oddly confused, his eyes gazing around the building. Arima was supposed to be training him, he heard. But the older man was nowhere near Kaneki now. Suzuya bumped into him, intentionally stepping in his way while he was distracted.

“E-eh?” he stumbled, before regaining his posture.

Kaneki Ken was still the same, even after these years. His agility had improved, Suzuya noted. But instead of looking like what he did during the Aogiri Raid, the man in front of him reminded him of the man he saw during their first meeting; the pure, untarnished college student that were unaware of the sufferings that this world could inflict upon a person.

“It’s nice to meet you...uh,” he paused, glancing down at his shoes.

“First Class Suzuya Juuzou,” Suzuya supplied. “Forgive me for not introducing myself earlier!”

And to be true to their first meeting, Suzuya handed him the 3000 yen and walked away, hoping that the meetings following up to this one would be happier than the ones in the past.

_You and I will meet again, When we're least expecting it, One day in some far off place, I will recognize your face, I won't say goodbye my friend, For you and I will meet again._

 

 


End file.
